Ubisoft’s been kinda sorta a little better about treating PC gamers like humans (or at least wallets with people attached) lately – what with the partial decapitation of its draconian DRM and shoring up of arbitrarily spaced out release dates – but some things never change. Mystifyingly, the Assassin’s Creed series has continued to bound right over PC on day one, preferring instead to fall off a roof and use our spines as cushions weeks later. For Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag, that trend will not be changing – nor will the one where Ubisoft neglects to explain precisely why it keeps doing this in the first place.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

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I am worried. I still don’t know what a Beamdog is, and now my chances of finding out are looking rather slim. The Baldur’s Gate: Enhanced Edition developer has hit a slightly, um, fatal rocky patch, with messy “contractual issues” leaving the update effort’s future in doubt. For now, the first Enhanced Edition has been yanked from all relevant e-tailers, and Baldur’s Gate II: Enhanced Edition is officially on-hold for the time being. Also, it probably goes without saying that this pushes Trent Oster and co’s Baldur’s Gate III pipe dream to the backburner’s furthest reaches. The back of the backburner. Ye gods, they said it was only a myth. You’ll find a statement from Beamdog after the break.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

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If I had been in charge of naming Soundodger, it would probably be called “Don’t Fuck Up Don’t Fuck Up Don’t Fuck Up: The Game.” But I guess that’s not entirely accurate, because your goal in this delightful (and free) magical rainbow rhythm triangle avalanche is to avoiding fucking up the soundtrack, not the game. Each song (from folks like Fez collaborator Disasterpeace, I might add) slings singing daggers of pure sound in your general direction, and you have to skirt each pattern’s edges just so to avoid them. Fail, and the song gets broken into a billion screaming pieces by a hideous record scratch and a sudden, music-less void. It’s a brief, largely inconsequential, er, consequence, but the soundtrack is so good and the flow of each pattern so satisfying that it’s physically painful to ruin them.

But once you get into the zone, well, let’s put it this way: I just got done playing for waaaay too long, and each time I blink, I see triangles. Glance quickly in any direction? Triangles. You are triangles. I am triangles.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun

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